The multi-part blog that transgender women posted about dating transsexual women was terrific, and spot on.
Let me offer a few more tips as someone who has dated transsexual women almost exclusively for the past ten-plus years. This included living with a transsexual woman for five years, and dating another for three in a committed relationship although we did not live together. When I wasn’t involved with someone, I was dating mostly transsexual women hoping to find a relationship.
Treat a transgender woman as a woman
This is very important, remember that you are dating a woman. She may have thought of herself as female since she was very young, so treat her as such. If all you want is the experience, need to fulfil a fantasy, or think of transsexuals as “chicks with dicks,” do both you and her a favor and call an escort.
Never ask about a trans woman’s genitalia
Never ask her what “size” she is; when she wants you to know, she will tell you and it may not be until she’s ready to sleep with you. When first getting to know a cisgender woman you don’t ask her what size her breasts are so don’t ask a transsexual woman how big her penis is.
Not all transgender women are comfortable with it
Since we’re on the subject, different transsexual women have different feelings about their penis. Some hate it and don’t want it touched or fondled let alone kissed. Most, though, want to experience orgasms and are delighted to have their lover involved. But find out before you’re both ready to become intimate; there are subtle, sensitive ways to bring up the topic.
Her story will help you know her better
Listen to her; she’ll be trying to tell you about her life. Speaking from experience, the more you listen the better you will know her, and the better the sex will be.
Patience is a virtue for her
If she is on hormone therapy, there may be times she’ll be moody or unpredictable. Even though it might be directed at you, usually it has nothing to do with you. Don’t argue with her if it happens; it won’t do any good and she’ll just resent you for not understanding what’s happening to her.
Respect, use what and how she wants to be addressed
What she calls herself is what you should call her. Some women use the term transsexual, others may say they are a T-girl, a woman in transition, or something else altogether. In my experience, most dislike the term “shemale.” And never call her a “tranny;” those are cross-dressers and transvestites.
Be proud of having a transsexual girlfriend
If you are dating regularly, don’t hide her from your friends. If you are afraid or embarrassed dating a transsexual, don’t.
Be happy having a transgender girlfriend
Enjoy your time together: She’s a unique person.
The transsexual women I’ve known, dated and – twice – loved were more open and honest about themselves than were many cisgender women I’ve dated. I suspect this is because a transgender woman has had to come to terms with so many fundamental things about themselves that cisgender women take for granted. As a result, the relationships I’ve had with transgender women were open and honest. And a quick PS: Dating a transsexual woman does not mean you’re gay or bi. A woman is defined by what is between her ears, not between her legs. I’ve dated transsexuals for years and enjoyed sex with a number of them, but have no interest in being with men. So relax and have fun.