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How to deal with Insecurities

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

“Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, is such an evil thing” – Paris Hilton.

This happens not only with transgender dating but dating in general.  I’m not the perfect person to give advice but since I’m a naturally jealous person, I think you’ll get some value about how I overcome it when I’m in a relationship.

Please take everything with a grain of salt because each person’s individuality can never be cloned.

His dating PAST

I’m always curious about what type of women my current prospect has dated. Questions like

“Is this his first time on a transgender dating website?

“Has he only dated ciswomen?”

“Will he be comfortable with the fact that I don’t have something meowing down under?”

When I was younger and more vulnerable, I’ve always felt like my body wasn’t something that a straight man would go for.  I’d often dwell on the lack of my boobies, butt, hips, or anything that can potentially turn a man on.  I currently don’t have any problem with who I am because I know I have a market but I had this wrong idea of what a woman was when I was younger.  Genitals, shape, face, and etc. all of these don’t matter if a man sees you as a woman. You don’t lack anything for people to perceive you as such.  All you have to know is that you are a woman from the core and nothing else matters.  Stop being worked up if you think his cisgender women exes are prettier than you. He has his eyes, time, attention and everything glued on you.
Just shut up and go with the flow, woman!


Don’t you just hate it when he socializes with other people? Just kidding.

The thing is, sometimes, it can feel crippling if he doesn’t invite you to get-togethers of his friends and their ciswomen girlfriends.
I know how you may be feeling right now especially if he’s not ready to introduce you to his circle.  These people have been in his life for a long time and trust in the power of timing.  Every transgender woman wants to experience normalcy and not feeling like being kept as a dirty little secret but I think that if you really love this person, you have to give him more time.  If it’s been a year and he’s still just dating you in seedy and obscure places, I think it’s time to confront him.  How can you build a future with a man who you can’t even introduce to your world or vice-versa?

It is very important to have common friends and know common people especially in case of emergencies.  I’m going to list other scenarios on why it’s of paramount importance but this will turn into a novella lol.


Lastly, I think that insecurities mostly stem from ourselves.  Yes, there are triggering events/people but we should be able to rise above all of those.  If we take the effort into digging deep within us and find our confidence, we wouldn’t have a problem with insecurity anymore.  Find yourself, know your worth, and surround yourself with positive people.



Posted in Love and Relationship

About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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