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Transgender Dating DON’Ts

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
This post was last updated on .

Dos and don’ts are not just exclusive to transgender dating but I want to be more in-depth about the DON’Ts section of the lottery we all call dating.

There are numerous factors as to why it’s seemingly, that when we try to get to know someone, things suddenly fall apart.  Consider dating as an investment and every action and word you put out must be a seed for a lasting relationship to grow.

Please think before you act or say anything, and HARDLY.  If you find anything you did/said from the DON’Ts in transgender dating below, then this might ring true to your situation.

Please also take everything with a grain of salt because I’m basing all of the examples from my life experiences as a transgender woman who has been in the trans dating game for years.

Things you DON’T Say

She’s still a MAN – This is pretty obvious but I get this a lot from religious first-timers who want to argue with me about how I should be able to equally feel the same way with them because “technically”, I’m still a MAN.  Transgender people battle very early on with their lives just to not feel like they should be addressed as a center gender based on their genitals. This is a sure-fire way for you to get blocked.

She needs bigger boobs, bigger this, bigger that – No she does not.  And whatever she wants to do with her body and feels that she should have should come from her self-assessment, not from your twisted sexual fetishes.

Make fun of her BIRTH name – A lot of guys think that it’s funny to know the masculine birth names of transgender women. Find a better way to express your humor if you have some.  If those neurons don’t work anymore, just sell them.

Say that a celebrity trans girl is prettier and she should strive harder – Don’t you just hate unsolicited opinions? There are guys who like to act like they’re “life coaches” who can turn your “seemingly imperfect” life 180 to what they consider is perfect. Your tool is not 3 inches by girth and 9 inches by length so keep your opinion to yourself.

She should SHUT UP with trans rights – I’ve been with a very discrete guy who hates my stand in this issue because he wants a “peaceful” life.  Why are you even dating trans women to begin with boo boo? “How about you GTFO?” quoting Mariah’s Carey’s new single GTFO.

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Things you DON’T Do

Don’t advice to stop taking hormones – If your transgender date is undergoing hormone replacement therapy and you’re irked by her lack of virility, simply go for others.

Don’t fetishize her – I personally have no problems with this because I fetishize men all the time lol but not every transgender woman would appreciate this.

Don’t put her in a BOX – What I mean by this is don’t just keep addressing her as a trans woman. She has more to offer than that.  Talk about other things apart from that.  Know her strengths, weaknesses, and dreams as an individual.

Don’t compare her to p*rn stars – Life is not a 10-minute free video from xHamster. What you may be seeing in p*rn is usually not the norm when it comes to transgender dating.

There are a lot of DON’Ts in transgender dating that I still want to include here but this is just a blog post and not an e-book. I hope that I was at the very least, able to help you in some way.

Good luck!



Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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