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My fears as a transgender woman

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

Today’s article will be a little more personal because I’m going to tackle what my fears are as a transgender woman in the world of transgender dating websites.  Please know that everything I’m writing here is from my sole experience.  Don’t blame me if you find yourself wasting a minute or 2 because of this lol.

He might be into Post-Ops

This is quite a rare fear to have in a transgender dating website but some guys prefer post-ops over pre-ops.  Albeit my porn star boobs, I’m not planning to have the surgery below the belt for reasons that can create a book that’s as thick as a DMV handbook.  You may think you’ve found the one through sweet nothings and an undeniable chemistry but his mind can’t be swayed upon having the thought that you don’t have the hole he desires to enter.

I’m not saying that the person in question is bad for having a preference but yes… this is a fear of mine especially from local guys in my country who expect me to have something that meows because I already have a very “womanly” shape or whatever that entails.

He might expect me to be Versatile

A common fear of transwomen who are undergoing hormone replacement therapy. We can’t discount that sex is very important when it comes to a relationship. When we can’t satisfy the man in question, we feel a little down and we start questioning ourselves.
We want to look as passable as much as possible but we also want our partner to be happy so… what now?

He is turned on by big weiners

This goes in conjunction with the section above.  Nothing is wrong about wanting something bigger but this hits home because I’m Asian lol.  Yes, I’m the stereotype.  I’m not really gifted in this area. As laughable as it may sound to you first-timers, this happens to me.  You may be feeling great about yourself after the weight loss, breast augmentation surgery, and etc. but there will be tell-tale signs that he may not be really into you sexually as you are with him because you lack the additional 2 inches or so that he truly desires…

I’m considered a BIG GIRL in Asian Transgender Women standards

I’ve always felt too big to be attractive to men in transgender dating websites, especially to white men.  I find that they prefer the ones who are shorter than 5ft 3 and they find me a little too big to be attractive.  Most men tend to fetishize Asian transwomen and they prefer the ones who look fragile.  I’m currently fat but even when I was wearing size zero clothes before, my 5ft 7 height was still something they didn’t find appealing.  I love wearing high heels because they give me better posture and make my OOTD more beautiful; but standing at 5ft 10… makes me feel like I’m making their hard-ons turn to soft-ons.

Oh gosh, I haven’t even begun but I’ve already reached a considerable amount of words.  These are the feelings I feel and you don’t have to be as depressed as I am because there are still diamonds in the rough of transgender dating.

Good luck



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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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2 thoughts on “My fears as a transgender woman

  1. Interesting perspective – I am more insecure about exactly what men want from the site ( and me). I am worried that I am too tall – but the preference for post op trans women is an unknown to me – I have no experience with dating from site(s). My concern is that they want preop and non op over post op. I guess we find out at the end of this week as I have a date on Friday — it is now Tuesday.

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