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Should you lower your standards for a man?

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I’m writing this because I just got gold-digger shamed in a transgender dating site.  To be honest, I’ve been financially independent since I was 19 and I’ve only experienced depending on a man when I was 18.  I’m 29 and I’m currently working 3 jobs and it is funny that I’m still called a gold digger because of my expectations from a partner.

What’s in my Profile?

I’ve been completely honest in the About Me section on my transgender dating profile.  However, I put a euphemism on my 3rd job because I don’t think that it’s appropriate to be displayed in public.  Apart from my writing job for this website, I also have a beauty reviews website and my 3rd hustle is being a… Dominatrix.

I don’t have physical intercourse with my slaves. I only do other stuff which I can’t mention here.  However, I didn’t expect the irrational judgment right after I revealed my job to some guy about my flogging career.

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What did he say?

I will not share with you his exact message but it goes along the lines of…

You are a gold digger
I am not here to judge (he clearly did lol)
I want you to myself
You are not looking for real love
The choices you make are the reason why you’re lonely

and a whole lot more!

Mind you, I’ve only known this guy for less than 6 hours!  There is only one reason why I do my side hustle and it is because of money. Writing is not the most lucrative career especially if you’re just starting so I indeed have to make concessions.  I live in the Philippines and I don’t have a lot of other options.  I’m not blaming the circumstances, hence, I’m still able to provide for myself.

However, being judged for my choices in life and relating it to my own character is out of line.

Should you lower your standards for a man?

I’m a very hardworking person and I expect to be with someone who’s the same.  I’m not working this hard just to get by as I have goals in the future. I want to live a long life of travel, comfort, and fashion.  There is nothing wrong about wanting more for yourself.

Ladies, if you want to level-up, you don’t have to feel sorry about it.  If you work in the adult industry and you’re not hurting anyone while doing so (unless you’re a dominatrix lol), just keep on doing you.  Unless that man has the means to make you quit, don’t stall your goals.

At the end of the day, it is your body and you have all the right to do what you want with it.  Don’t let the term gold-digger describe yourself.  To be honest, that word was created by broke men who hate women with standards lol.



Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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