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Dating a Married Man

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

Trans dating is already complicated and even made more so when a trans woman decides to date a married man. Sometimes, love happens in the most obscure and volatile situations which result in infidelity. Today, I’m going to share with you my personal experiences with married men as a transgender woman.

Please do not crucify or attack me. I’ve written this article to serve as a guide for hopeless romantic women out there who are wondering whether they should pursue this type of relationship or not. This was not made to attack a group of people so please take it with a grain of salt.

Why are you Dating a Married Man?

Before dating a married man, you first must assess why you’re planning to do so. Is there a magnetic connection between you and him that you just can’t shake? Is he very physically attractive and his six-pack abs are what’s stopping you from getting your life together? Does he drive a Rolls-Royce and you want to experience the high-life with him?

Make a list of two columns, PROS on the left, CONS on the right. See which list is longer. Moreover, assess if all the pros are worth for you to sacrifice your youth and the possibility of finding someone that has everything that you’re looking for if you just wait a little more.

Now, if your heart still can’t be stopped, read further to know as to why I’ve committed myself to married men.


The reason why I’ve dated a married man is that he’s a Muslim. Technically, they can get married to multiple women at the same time and the reason why I was just demoted to being a mistress is he can’t marry transgender women.

religious guy

Yes, I know that this sounds like I’m justifying the “wrong deed” but I simply can’t order my heart to stop feeling certain emotions. He’s a very sweet, respectful, dignified, charming, intelligent, wildly sexy, and alpha, seriously, most women wouldn’t be able to refuse his charm and I’m no different.

Right Love at the Wrong Time

I’m not forcing you to join the mistress train so please don’t pin this against me. Yes, I’ve also dated a married man because as what the title of the section says, we had the right love at the wrong time.

couple in love

It’s possible to find a soulful connection with someone married. Such a scenario is unfortunate but inevitable most especially if the two of you let your emotions control your decisions.

In this kind of situation, both parties are guilty and the crime is called… LOVE. Never judge this kind of situation too early because you too may experience this in the future.

He’s separated but he CAN’T get DIVORCED

One of the many reasons why I’ve dated a married man is because he can’t get divorced. He’s not sleeping with his wife anymore and he doesn’t have sexual relationships with her but in their country, divorce is still unavailable. This is the reason why I became a mistress.

sad couple

I don’t know if I’m fundamentally stupid or just destined to fall in love with a married man. Whatever the reason may be is not important, what’s important is we’re both happy and we’re not hurting anybody in the process.

Now that you know the reasons why I became a mistress, it’s time for you to know the repercussions of having a relationship with a married man.

Cons of Dating a Married Man

It’s very difficult for a transgender woman to bag a single man who’s just starting to create his life. If you’re in your 20’s or 30’s, you will truly struggle and meet a lot of frogs. The reason being is because guys in this age bracket are mostly still testing the waters out.

Worse, some of them may change their minds later on and decide that they want to start a family with a cisgender woman. This is why a lot of transgender women end up being mistresses.

However, dating a single man your age (if you’re under 40), is still way easier than having a complicated relationship with a married man.

Your YOUTH will be WASTED

If you’re dreaming of getting married, you must know that it’s way easier to find a husband if you’re still under 40. Let’s face it, men are quite visual and most of them prefer younger women. If you commit yourself to a married man who has no plans on marrying you, you will probably end up old and alone.

sad girl

Your dream and youth will both be wasted and this is such a big risk to take. Are you really sure that the love you have with this married man can endure the test of time?

His FAMILY is being RUINED

Most likely, you’re indirectly ruining a family. This often manifests if you’re dating a married man without much financial freedom and you’re depending on him to handle your finances.

The reason being is because instead of him securing his family’s future, he’s trying to secure yours in the process as well. Added to that, wives are not stupid and if he’s really not making much, she’s going to know that her wife has a mistress.

arguing couple

Now, if he’s rich and has a lot of means to cover up his affair with a strong perfume called money, dating a married man would be a lot easier. However, will you be able to sleep at night knowing that he’s lying to his wife and kids?

Furthermore, if he can betray his own blood, what makes you think that you’re the only one and that he’s not going to do the same thing that he did to his wife to you?

There’s a chance that YOU will get CAUGHT

Have you prepared for the possibility that you will get caught? How will you react when his wife and kids confront you? Do you also know that there’s also a possibility that you will end up in a scandal and worse, be the future buzz of a social media site?

There’s more to talk about when it comes to dating a married man but for now, I hope this guide was able to make you decide if you should keep pursuing a relationship like this.

Good luck!



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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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