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Do men Ghost you a lot?

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

The joy of the first greeting, the heartwarming early sweet nothings, and the dreamy potential future. Do you find yourself constantly experiencing the said things and never escaping the loop? Are men only interested in you in the beginning? Do men ghost you a lot?

Today, you’re going to find out why you’re stuck in this rut. Please don’t be offended if you find yourself checking a lot of the boxes. If you’re serious about finding a boyfriend on a trans dating site, keep reading.

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting is often used as a verb to pertain to somebody disappearing after being intimate with someone. The intimacy may be in the form of online or personal dating. Ghosting can be done by both men and women and have become more rampant because of the digital era of dating.

Examples of Ghosting

Below is the list of common scenarios of how ghosting is done. Please know that there are many other ways to ghost someone and these are not limited to the list below.

escaping guy

Gone with the wind after sex

This is a very common ghosting method that is brought upon by popular hookup apps like Tinder and Badoo. Because these apps make it very convenient for people to meet up due to smartphones’ location services, a lot of people find themselves meeting up and going out on a date on a whim.

They meet up, drink, have a good time, then end up in bed only for the other person to find out that the other won’t reply to their texts and calls a day or two after. Worse is when the “ghost” puts them in the block list.

Getting to know Online then BYE

If you’re not a novice in trans dating online, you may have experienced this yourself. There are a lot of men who will share their whole lives with you which will make you feel like he’s already welcoming you to his world.

He will tell you a lot of things that will make you feel like he’s planning to have an exclusive relationship with you. You will get to know a lot of information about him, his mother, father, siblings, cousins, and down to his pets. These will only add fuel to your delusions that he is serious about you.

Once he feels like you’ve fallen for his trap, that’s when he will escape and block you.

You agree to be his Girlfriend and OFF HE GOES

Because not everyone gets the opportunity to meet right after finding each other on a dating site, a lot of online relationships are formed. A lot of transgender women agree to a relationship before meeting the man because of the yearning to be loved.

There’s nothing wrong about agreeing to be someone’s girlfriend through online but be aware that there are devious men out there who enjoy ghosting women after they make them get to say yes.

Why men Ghost you a LOT

If you don’t want to be a prey to these ghosts anymore, you have to read this section carefully. You might find yourself checking more than one item on the list. Be prepared for the truth.

angry girl

You’re Overbearing

Maybe the reason why you’re being ghosted a lot is that you’re too overbearing. What this means is maybe you’re imposing a lot of things too early on in the relationship. These can be in the form of how you want your relationship to be like, how often you want him to communicate with you, how you advise him to “change for the better”, and many other things.

All of these are not bad and are mostly coming from a place of concern but can be suffocating for a man especially if these are done very early on. The early stages of your relationship should be about him pursuing you. Just sit back, relax, and let him do all the work.

Talks of the Future are TOO MUCH

Nothing reeks of desperation more than a woman talking about the future too much from the get-go. Yes, it’s cute to converse about how you’d like your future home’s décor to be, how you’d wait for him to come home with a hot meal, and your dream wedding but these are men repellants!

He will think that you’re desperate and that he’s your last resort. Men only pursue women who are coveted and coveted women are not desperate. Engage him with conversations about you as an individual and not you as his future wife.

You’re Too Available

You will not excite a man if there’s no anticipation. If you always reply less than five seconds to his chats or you answer his call only after one ring, he will not feel the paranoia and fear of losing his prize to another man.

Disappear from time to time and make him wonder what you’re doing, where you are, and whether or not you’re fooling around with another guy.

How to Avoid being Ghosted

The simple answer to not be ghosted is to start channeling your inner diva. There’s a good reason why the book “Why men marry bitches” by Sherry Argov has great reviews and changed a lot of lives.

nice couple

Start establishing romantic relationships with a logical viewpoint rather than an emotional one. As a transgender woman, you must always have the longer end of the stick. This is the only way that you will succeed in having a real relationship out of a trans dating site.

Below’s a helpful list of what to remember if a new man comes your way.

  • Let him initiate the conversations more than you do.
  • Don’t be too privy about what he’s doing in a day. This will make him feel like you’re doing a low-key investigation.
  • Stop sharing too personal things unless he asks you or does it first.
  • Always make him feel like you value your time and that he’s lucky to have the privilege of talking to you.
  • Focus on improving yourself rather than trying to please anybody.
  • Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not and he will respect you more for it.
  • Do not compromise your worth and give yourself away too early in the game.
  • Always make sure that he likes you more than you like him.
  • Keep an air of mystery.

This guide is chocked-full of helpful tips to avoid being ghosted. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find THE ONE in an instant. However, these simple tweaks will drastically change your dating life and there’s no harm in trying. Remember, if you keep doing the same things, don’t expect different results.

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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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