I know that I often talk about transgender dating but there is one thing that must be said. If it’s a soulmate that you’re looking for, you must have a better understanding of her through decrypting her past.
Today, I’m going to discuss my real gender identity and being assigned male at birth in its early stages. There are a lot of trans women who start their transition at a very late age and we will be tackling that as well.
The Signs that I am Transgender Person
In this section, I’m going to divide it by the most common signs that are quite telling that I indeed have gender dysphoria.
These are what you should be on the lookout for right off the bat. However, I’m only going to talk about my experiences as a trans woman. If you’re planning to transition to the opposite gender, just switch the situations accordingly.
I Dislike Toys for Boys
I’m pretty sure that you have gone through childhood as well and you’ve had preferences of the kinds of toys that you wanted to play with. This was the most telling out of all the flashing signs.
From a young age, I’ve never had an affinity for anything that’s commonly associated with my biological s*x. I didn’t like:
- the color blue
- and more
Whenever we celebrated family reunions, I’d often ask my female cousin to bring her toys with her so that I could play with them. I had a strong desire for “girly” interests.
- Sailor Moon
- Spice Girls
- Mariah Carey
- Britney Spearsetc.
- and more
were the foundation of my childhood. Because I was not able to touch the latter, I opted for more gender-neutral interests.
We will discuss more childhood later on.
My Masculine Physical Attributes Disgust Me
For an Asian person, I’m quite hairy. Yes, I’ve said it and I can’t believe that I am outing myself in public. However, this must be discussed. I’ve had laser treatments because no amount of hormones seemed to help me stop growing facial hair.
Some of the physical attributes that trans females don’t feel comfortable with are:
- pronounced adam’s apple
- protruding muscles
- big feet, big hands
- flat chest
- wide shoulders
- narrow hips
- flat butt
- strong jaw & brow ridge
- and more
I’m not going to enlist everything because this might turn into a novella lol.
Suffice to say, anything that makes a person look “hard” or associated with the gender they were assigned at birth, is not something that a regular trans woman wants.
Can somebody get rid of this PEN*S ?
This does not apply to me but this is an undeniable fact. A lot of trans women assigned males don’t like having a pen*s. This is the reason why they undergo transgender surgery.
You’re asking yourself that are you a transgender girl even if you want to keep your pen*s? The answer is yes, you still are (granted that you want to live your life as a woman 24/7).
Genitals have nothing to do with a person’s gender. Male-to-female trans folks are born with a pen*s while female-to-male trans people are born with a vagina and some of them want to undergo the switch of genitals which further proves that’s what’s between your legs does not define who you are in a holistic sense.
What Age did I Start Feeling Different ?
I couldn’t tell exactly when but I’m going to say that my earliest memories already entail my trans experience. I’m guessing that around the age of 5.
Seriously, I have no recollection of ever wanting to do “boy stuff”. When I was a child, I’ve always wondered why girls get to play with dolls and get to wear dresses while I was forced to cut my hair short and wear boy clothes.
“I’ve always envied how the girls get male attention”
I studied in an all-boys school but our school bus was co-ed and I’ve always envied how the girls get male attention and I did not. Their uniforms were also way cuter than mine and there’s just about their feminine world that I’ve always related more to and wanted to be a part of. Their uniforms were also way cuter than mine and there’s just about their feminine world that I’ve always related more to and wanted to be a part of.
Does my Attraction to Certain Genders Dictate my Trans Personhood ?
You’re asking yourself the are you a transgender girl or a gay man because you prefer to have relationships or make love with men while you haven’t transitioned yet, the answer is, it depends on how you want to live your life on a daily basis.
Do you like looking like a man and dressing up as one and do you want to be in a relationship with men? If so, you’re a gay man.
If you want to live your life 24/7 as a woman and you want people to see you as a woman and you’re attracted to women, you’re still a woman. Liking whoever you want does not affect your womanhood. If you want to live your life 24/7 as a woman and you want people to see you as a woman and you’re attracted to women, you’re still a woman. Liking whoever you want does not affect your womanhood.
To stop you further from questioning your gender, if you consider yourself a woman and want to live your life perpetually as a woman and you want to be with a man, the short answer is, you’re a heterosexual transgender woman.
What if I am? How do I go about it ?
I’m going to divide this section into 2 parts. Yes, I know that life is not as simple as black or white but this method will be easier for you as you can easily take each to create a more applicable gray solution to your life.
Before you come out as a transgender person, you first must know when the perfect timing would be.
Single with No Kids
If you’re in this situation, the world is your oyster! This is the perfect time to come out as a trans woman and say goodbye to your assigned gender. If you do this later, you’ll only come across certain complications.
However, if you’re under circumstances wherein it’s difficult to come out just yet i.e. transphobic & homophobic parents who are paying your college tuition, a non-inclusive country wherein you might get punished, and more, it may be best to wait until you’re in a safe zone wherein you’ll be able to comfortably support your self.
Trust me, as a trans woman, finances will give you a lot of freedom.
Married with Kids
This is quite complicated. First of all, you must acknowledge the fact that your wife may not be able to accept you after you decide to come out. You have to be open to the possibility that she will file a divorce as well. Second, the kids may not be able to take the truth especially if they’re not at the right age.
My best advice would be to talk to your wife first and in a place wherein she will be lectured properly about your situation. Invite her to a couple’s counseling session or seek help together.
I know the feeling of wanting to come out but feeling stuck in the closet. However, identifying as transgender is quite harder so taking ample yet careful steps should be of paramount importance.
If you got your question answered with this guide, kindly share your thoughts in the comments section below. My Transsexual Date is a safe place to discuss everything about transgender people.
Join the conversation!