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Signs that He’s Just Experimenting with Trans Women Online

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

Dating men is fun, but it’s important to be aware of the signs that someone might not be serious about a genuine relationship especially if you’re a transgender woman. By paying attention to how a man communicates and interacts with you, you can better protect your heart and find someone who truly appreciates and respects you.

Remember, you deserve someone who is honest, supportive, and genuinely interested in getting to know you for who you are. Without further ado, let’s get to the tell-tale signs that he’s just here to turn you into a love rat (pun intended).

Inconsistent Communication

Inconsistent communication is a clear sign that he might not be genuinely invested in the relationship. If he frequently disappears for days without any explanation or only messages sporadically, it shows a lack of commitment.

Smartphone on a wooden surface displaying the word 'Hello' on the screen.

Consistent and regular communication is key to building a strong connection. Make a note of how often he reaches out and if he makes an effort to stay in touch. If he’s truly interested, he will want to maintain a steady flow of conversation to get to know you better.

Pay attention to how consistently he communicates with you. If you notice he frequently disappears or only messages sporadically, it’s time to have a conversation about your expectations. Express your need for regular communication to feel valued and connected. If he can’t meet these expectations, it might be best to move on and find someone who is willing to put in the effort.

Consistent engagement is crucial for a healthy and evolving relationship, so don’t settle for someone who isn’t fully present.

Focus on Physical Aspects

When a man’s conversations are primarily focused on your physical appearance or intimate topics, it’s a red flag. A genuine connection involves discussing a variety of topics, including your interests, hobbies, and experiences.

Woman in a floral bikini standing by a palm tree, with her hair blowing in the wind.

If he only seems interested in your looks or physical attraction, he might be more interested in a casual fling than a meaningful relationship. Pay attention to the balance of your conversations and see if he shows interest in other aspects of your life.

Notice if his conversations are primarily focused on your physical appearance or intimate topics. Encourage discussions about your interests, hobbies, and experiences to gauge his true intentions. A man who is genuinely interested will want to know about your passions and dreams, not just your looks.

If he continues to steer the conversation towards physical aspects, it might be a sign to reevaluate his intentions. Building a genuine relationship requires mutual respect and interest in each other’s lives beyond physical attraction.

Avoiding Personal Details

When he avoids sharing personal details about his life, it can indicate a lack of serious interest. A genuine relationship involves mutual sharing and getting to know each other on a deeper level. If he’s reluctant to talk about his interests, future plans, or even basic personal details, he might not be looking for a long-term connection. Pay attention to how much he shares and how willing he is to open up.

Person in a dark hoodie with their face hidden, standing in a dimly lit area.

Ask him about his life, interests, and future plans to see how he responds. If he’s evasive or gives vague answers, it’s a red flag. A man who is serious about you will be open and forthcoming about his life.

He will want to include you in his plans and share his experiences with you. If he consistently avoids these conversations, it might be time to reconsider if he’s truly invested. Openness is fundamental for trust and intimacy, so ensure he’s willing to share his world with you.

Secretive Behavior

Secretive behavior, like insisting on keeping your relationship hidden or avoiding public interactions, is a major red flag. A man who truly cares about you will be proud to be with you and won’t feel the need to hide your relationship. Pay attention to how he reacts to the idea of going out in public together or introducing you to his friends and family.

Observe if he’s secretive about your interactions. If he insists on keeping your relationship hidden or doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, it’s a red flag. A genuine relationship involves transparency and openness.

If he’s serious about you, he won’t have a problem with public outings or being seen together. If he’s being secretive, it’s time to have an honest conversation about his intentions. Transparency is essential for a healthy relationship, so don’t ignore signs of secretive behavior.

Lack of Effort to Meet in Person

If he makes excuses or continuously postpones meeting in person, he might not be serious about pursuing a real relationship. Meeting face-to-face is crucial to building a deeper connection and seeing if there’s real chemistry between you. A man who is genuinely interested will make an effort to meet you and spend time together in person.

Person typing on a smartphone while sitting on a bed with a laptop nearby.

Suggest meeting in person after a reasonable amount of online interaction. If he makes excuses or continuously postpones meeting, it’s a sign he might not be serious about pursuing a real relationship.

A man who truly wants to be with you will find time to see you in person. If he keeps avoiding it, consider whether he’s genuinely interested or just experimenting. Meeting in person is a vital step in developing a real connection, so prioritize those who are eager to make that happen.

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No Interest in Your Trans Journey

A man who is genuinely interested in you will want to understand and support your experiences and challenges as a transgender woman. If he shows little to no interest in your journey, it can be a sign that he is not truly invested in you as a person. Sharing aspects of your journey is important to see how he responds.

A man who cares will ask questions, show empathy, and offer support. If he seems disinterested or brushes off your experiences, it might indicate that he isn’t looking for a meaningful connection.

Pay attention to how he reacts when you share personal stories or challenges about your trans journey. If he changes the subject or seems uncomfortable, it could be a red flag.

Genuine interest involves more than just accepting you; it means being actively engaged in understanding and supporting your life experiences. If he cannot engage with this significant part of your life, he might not be the right person for a serious relationship. Ensure that he respects and values all aspects of who you are.

Inconsistent Stories

Consistency in what a man shares about his life is crucial for building trust. If you notice discrepancies or changing stories, it can be a sign that he is not trustworthy. A genuine person will have consistent details about their background, job, family, and daily activities.

Close-up of a white Guy Fawkes mask lying on a dark surface.

Inconsistent stories can indicate that he might be hiding something or not being entirely honest with you. This lack of honesty can undermine the foundation of any relationship.

Pay attention to the consistency of his stories and details about his life. If you notice that he frequently changes his narrative or gives conflicting information, it’s a red flag. Ask follow-up questions to see if he provides clear and consistent answers.

A trustworthy person will have no problem keeping their story straight. If he continues to be inconsistent, it might be best to reevaluate his intentions and consider if he is someone you can rely on for a genuine connection.

Pressure for Explicit Content

A genuine connection should be based on mutual respect and understanding, not just physical attraction. If he pressures you for explicit photos or conversations early on, it’s a major red flag. A man who is serious about a relationship will respect your boundaries and will be more interested in getting to know you as a person rather than focusing on intimate content. Early pressure for explicit content often indicates a lack of respect and genuine interest.

Be wary if he pressures you for explicit photos or conversations. Set clear boundaries and see how he reacts. A respectful man will honor your comfort levels and will not push you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. If he continues to pressure you despite your boundaries, it’s a clear sign that he is not looking for a serious relationship.

Prioritize your comfort and safety, and don’t hesitate to move on from someone who disrespects your limits.

Limited Interaction Outside of Messaging

While messaging is a convenient way to communicate, it’s important to build a deeper connection through other forms of interaction. If he avoids video calls or phone conversations, it might be a sign that he is not interested in a deeper relationship. Video calls and phone conversations can help you gauge his sincerity and see if there is a real connection. They also provide a more personal touch compared to just text messages.

Hand holding a smartphone displaying a folder of social media apps

Suggest video calls or phone conversations to build a more personal connection. If he consistently avoids these forms of communication, it’s a red flag. A man who is genuinely interested in you will be excited to hear your voice and see your face, not just read your messages.

If he makes excuses or shows reluctance to engage in more personal interactions, consider whether he is truly invested in building a meaningful relationship. Personal interaction is key to developing trust and intimacy.

Quick to Make Promises

Be cautious if he makes grand promises or declarations of love very quickly. Genuine relationships take time to develop, and rushing can be a sign of insincerity. When someone is quick to make big promises, it often means they are not thinking things through or are not genuinely committed. Real connections grow over time through shared experiences and gradual understanding of each other.

Pay attention to the pace at which he makes promises and declarations of love. If he’s rushing things, take a step back and evaluate his intentions.

A genuine relationship involves getting to know each other deeply before making significant commitments. If he’s quick to make promises, it might be a tactic to win your trust without putting in the necessary effort. Ensure that his actions match his words over time to gauge his sincerity.

Ready to apply these learnings and find the man of your dreams? Create a My Transgender Date account today and find out why it’s the best dating website for transgender women and the men who love them.

Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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