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Denying that I am a pre-op trans woman

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
This post was last updated on .

Today, we’re going to talk about terminologies that are commonly associated with trans people, specifically trans women (with a bonus of my s*x life). I’m going to save you from further confusion about which term appropriately constitutes what.

Transgender, Pre-op, Post-op, Non-op Meaning

Before we start talking about why I denied the truth about me, being a male to female pre-op transgender woman, you first have to know the meaning of the words that revolve around this 3-hit combo.

Transgender is a huge umbrella term for trans-oriented people. There are more than 10 terms when it comes to classifying transgender people. It’s best for you to have a better understanding if you’re planning to date one.

What’s a Non-Op Transgender Woman ?

A Non-Op Transgender Woman is somebody who has no plans in getting a gender reassignment surgery or gender confirmation surgery done at all. They don’t equate with being cross dressers. She may be taking hormones and have had a breast augmentation surgery already, or nothing at all.

Some Common Misconceptions

There are a lot of non-op transwomen in the world of trans dating.

However, most of what you’ll see who are labeled with this isn’t accurate.

Some get confused with its true meaning.

transgender women thinking

Some girls who are planning to get p*ssyfied are using it because they take the literal term “non-op” (having no kind of operation at all) to describe themselves in their profiles.

You can have cup-z tiddies and a badonkadonk that’s manufactured in a lab somewhere in South America. But you’re still non-op if you’re not planning to get a vagina.

Don’t worry, I’m not saying that the womanhood of post-op transwomen is more valid. Even if I take hormones regularly and already had some adjustments here and there, I still have a pen*s (or benis, depending on the region of the guy that you’re talking to lol).

A Vagina simply can’t make one a Woman

As a non-op transwoman, I can confidently say that I’m more woman than a lot of post-ops who I know personally.

Some of them still talk, act, and have mannerisms of a gay man and they’re clocked easier than I am.


Added to that, transmen exist and most of them have vaginas so obviously, genitals are not telling of one’s gender.

Ladies, enjoy your eggplants. Being a woman with a vagina is fabulous and being a woman with a pen*s is iconic. Just like what Shakira said in the Superbowl…

“No Fighting !”

What is a Pre-Op Transgender Woman ?

A pre-op transgender woman is someone who:

  • may or may not be taking medication (hormone replacement therapy)
  • may or may not be planning to undergo an orchiectomy or gender reassignment surgery.
Pre-Op Transgender Woman

I know, it’s confusing. Suffice to say, she’s the kind of transwoman who’s living her life as a woman full-time, but has or hasn’t undergone any kind of surgery. She’s out in the open as a woman 24/7 and she doesn’t have a window on her schedule wherein she only gets to live her life as a woman.

What is a Pre-Op Trans Woman ?

If you see somebody who has this listed in her profile:

  • she’s 100% planning to undergo gender reassignment surgery.
  • She may also be in a queue as a transgender patient in a gender confirmation surgery as we speak.
  • In some cases, she has also taken 1 step closer to her goal which is orchiectomy (removal of the testes).
Pre-Op Transsexual Woman

She’s not planning to keep her pen*s for anyone. She wants to live her life with the dream of cunnilingus at the palm of her hands.

By the way, she’s not going to enjoy talks about her pen*s and the other kinks that you have so don’t even try it with her.

What is a Post-Op Transgender Woman ?

A post-op transgender / trans woman is somebody who’ve already undergone a gender reassignment surgery. She’s Catwoman, hear her roar.

Sometimes, transwomen who’ve undergone orchiectomy prefer to be addressed as post-op as well.

Post-Op Transgender Woman

If you won’t want to offend anyone in a transgender dating website, you should just address her as a woman or a transwoman.

Let her unravel the talks of genitalia by herself. I know how imperative it is for men to know this type of thing right off the bat. You can always practice perfect timing; not too soon, not too late.

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Why I pretended to be a Post-Op Transwoman and Denied being pre-op.

Lying is a bad idea most of the time. But sometimes, I find it as a safe action to resort to when I need to buy time for various instances such as…

8 Years Ago

Well, this guy that I really like and had s*x with (from “behind”) doesn’t know that I’m still a pre-op transgender.

He is a former schoolmate and I had a s*xual experience with him around 8 years ago.

How do I know that he doesn’t have a problem with this kind of s*x ?

couple in the park

We did two rounds and he didn’t want to leave my apartment. I even had to kick him out because he was still in college at that time, I didn’t want him skipping school lol.

Right after the s*x, he was adamant about getting to know me better. But I was at the point of my life when I was switching between daddies (old “hustling“ days) and he was like for side entertainment.

He is a Neovagina Addict

Looking back at our exchange of messages on Facebook, he always seemed excited in telling me stories about the post-op transgender women that he had s*x with; how he thoroughly enjoyed entering the neovagina.

So much so that he asked me to promise him that he’d be the first one to enter mine post surgery.


Little did he know, I stopped the original plan of getting a gender reassignment surgery after getting my breasts done

Fast forward to years later… he wanted to know how I was doing and asked me if I got a s*x change operation yet. I told this guy that I’m happily a post-op now and he’s VERY curious to see it. He added that he wants to be the first to try the non-existent “it” lol.

Why did I lie?

Ugh, this would’ve been so much easier if I met him through a transgender dating site. We didn’t really see each other anymore after that particular s*xual encounter.

My Dilemma

We still chat from time to time but recently… he had a SERIOUS glow-up !

He was already very handsome, to begin with, but this time, his dad died and he inherited a STEEL BUSINESS COMPANY.


Fast-forward to my dilemma, I kind of crushed his dream and told him that I got the surgery together when I had my breasts done and he will not be the first one anymore as I’ve already been using it for the past few years lol.

I know that he’s annoyed because he didn’t reply and has left me in the seen zone. I really like him but I am sure that I don’t have a future with him.

2 Main Reasons why I don’t have a future with him

  1. He’s local, and let’s be realistic, with a Catholic country like mine, there’s nothing appealing of a future with regular back and forths with his religious kin.
  2. Because he’s more into vaginas and I am not planning to get one just because of him.
no future

I’m still unsure of what I want but I’m leaning towards being non-op. My jobs require a lot of cerebral work and I’m not going to risk the possibility of affecting my mental health.

If he’s still into me relationship-wise, he’d be talking about different things with me other than the vagina. I’m not sure if I will come clean to him because I think I think that I owe him that, but I’m kind of ashamed at the same time.

I know that I shouldn’t be afraid of who I am and what I have but… I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting a new crush next week so THAT is THAT.

Ahh, the joys of transgender dating, lol!

Tell a man upfront if you still have a pen*s

When it comes to a casual conversation, it’s never okay for somebody to ask what you have between your legs. However, when it comes to dating and relationships, you have to be more honest.

I know that I’ve already set a bad example for you ladies so take it from me. Look at my current dilemma, I can’t even have s*x with my crush because of my own neurotic thoughts that he might reject me.

trans discussion

Probably, he’ll still have s*x with me. Let’s be honest, he hit it twice in 1 night and didn’t want to go home. That’s very telling of how I’m able to make his little version happy. However, I’ve already made the situation unnecessarily convoluted just because I didn’t want to be honest with myself.

Don’t worry, I’m going to tell him someday, now’s just not the perfect timing. Besides, how am I ever going to be able to preface that type of conversation ?

“Hey, it’s me, here’s my D!”

I know that I’m laughing about it now but I seriously have to sort out this mess soon.

Have you ever lied about being a post-op trans woman ?

In my country, most people have this notion that if you call yourself transgender, you already have a vagina.

It’s just so hard to explain to each and everyone about what the word transgender truly means. Besides, have you ever liked a guy and thought that there may be a better chance of him liking you back once he finds out that you have a vagina ?

Yes, this is kind of dumb but admit it, it happens! Tell me more about you ladies. I’m hoping that we could start a conversation about this !

Leave a comment below.



Posted in Informational
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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Comments (2)

  • ...I have the opposite problem.
    I'd love the D on my beloved, but I'm not fond of the male body.
    My dream is a cute girl with a solid p*nis.

    ...problem is; how on earth can one ask about that, without being tactless..?
    • Hi Haeggis,

      I recommend you sign up on a and look for "pre op" or "non op" trans women. No need to ask and you won't pass as tactless :)

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