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Coming out as a Transgender person Successfully

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
This post was last updated on .

Life is quite tough for a lot of people but for transgender individuals, it’s even tougher. The moment that they’re born, fate’s already running its course in determining how the outcome would be if they choose to come out as transgender.

Some skeptics may deem this difficult feat as a choice and can be easily avoided. What they don’t know is how severe gender dysphoria can affect a person’s well-being. And if the proper gender isn’t given the opportunity to be manifested, it can prove crippling.

How to come out as trans successfully in different aspects of life

In today’s guide, you will find out how to come out as a transgender individual.

Just like any other s*xual orientation (lesbian/gay) confession guide available online, this is not a fool-proof guide.

However, it will definitely lessen the blow; most especially if you live in a judgmental society that’s not open to people like you. Sometimes, this includes your family and friends.

trans coming out

Before you consider following all the steps that will be listed here, kindly assess if it’s not life-threatening for you to come out as trans.

Instances like living in countries like:

  • Saudi Arabia
  • Russia
  • the United Arab Emirates

Or anywhere that it’s illegal to be a transgender person, should be dealt with with the utmost discretion.

Confessing as a transgender person to your family

This is very daunting, especially for people who have strict parents. A lot of transgender individuals get disowned by their kin and the situation results in a lot of:

  • depressed
  • suicidal
  • and hopeless transgender people
transgender coming out

It is simply not right to disown your child just because of his/her gender identity. You should be in their support group and if possible, be part of a human rights campaign that champions trans rights.

Parents should be held accountable by the law for not accepting how their child turns out. Parents should foresee all the possibilities before deciding to create a family. It’s kind of repulsive how transgender children are held accountable and have to suffer from the recklessness of their parents.

Now, if you want to come out as a transgender individual to your family, you must first assess what the possibilities would be.

Negative Outcomes

  • you will be forced to stop your plan of transitioning
  • you may be beaten up and your parent/s may think that you’re crazy
  • your siblings may not treat you the same anymore and may be complicit in trying to stop you from transitioning
  • hurtful words will be hurled your way
  • you’ll be sent to a different school and may be ordered to stop seeing your friends
  • your wife/husband will ask for a divorce
  • if you have children, they might side with your partner and lose respect for you
  • your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. will all stop talking to you
  • you’ll be kicked out of the house and shunned from ever seeing them again

Positive Outcomes

  • your parents may accept you and even sponsor your transition
  • the relationship between you and your parents may become stronger
  • your siblings may fully support you and everything that encompasses your transition
  • they will not use the wrong pronouns anymore
  • encouraging words and assurance of acceptance may be given to you
  • your parents may communicate with your school’s authorities to seek further help and protection so you don’t get bullied in school
  • your wife/husband will accept you whole-heartedly
  • if you have kids, they might accept you and be happy that they have a cool parent
  • your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. will all support your transition
  • family members may help you redecorate your bedroom to better express your true gender

Confessing as trans successfully to your family

Now that you know all of the possibilities that may arise when you come out as trans, it’s time for you to know how to go about it. Below is a list of situations that you MUST be in to lessen the blow should you get negative feedback.

  • you have a stable job and can afford to get your own place
  • enough savings to live for at least three months should you get fired from your job for being a transgender person
  • be emotionally prepared to lose contact (except your children as you still have to support them) in case your family disowns you
  • have friends who already know about your plans in transitioning to help you get through the tough times
  • be a member of a circle of transgender individuals supporting each other

Workplace and Being out as a trans individual

It’s a basic human right to be able to make a living.

If you are not allowed to work because of your gender identity, you’re being stripped of the right to live a dignified life.

This is why a lot of transgender women resort to s*x work.

There’s simply no opportunities open for trans people in certain countries. Even the foundation of being able to land a job like most schools, disallow transgender people the right to learn.

Before telling your boss and colleagues that you’re planning to transition, there are certain caveats to consider.

trans person

Negative Outcomes

  • you will get fired from your job
  • people from work will start treating you differently and won’t associate with you anymore
  • your boss and colleagues may start treating you poorly in order for you to voluntarily quit your job
  • you won’t be allowed to enter the restroom of your true gender
  • your boss may demote you for reasons that are vague and are clearly stemming from his/her disapproval of your gender identity

Positive Outcomes

  • your transition will be celebrated in the office
  • people at work will use the proper pronouns to address you
  • people from your workplace will start treating you with acceptance and more respect. They’ll also be curious in a good way
  • your boss and colleagues may start treating you a lot better and put you in high regard for having the confidence to live your truth
  • you’ll be welcomed in the restroom of your choice and you won’t face discrimination. You may also be the trailblazer in improving your company’s policy to being more gender-inclusive

Being out as trans successfully to your workplace

Just like your plan of coming out as trans to important people in your life, certain steps must be taken. Below is a list of situations that you must be in or agree to be in for you to come out successfully.

  • you have at least 3x your monthly salary in your savings account to live comfortably while looking for a new job
  • be mentally and emotionally prepared to go through the challenge of finding a new job with your true gender
  • have transgender friends who can refer you to their transgender-friendly workplaces
  • be in a circle of transgender individuals who socially transition and support each other

Revealing you are a transgender person to your friends

Out of all the aspects listed in this guide, this is the easiest one to deal with.

The reason being is if your friends are genuine, they will support your true gender identity no matter what. If they don’t, they’re not your real friends and it’s time for you to get new ones.

However, still keep reading to know the possibilities when you finally decide to come out as a transgender person to your friends.


Negative Outcomes

  • your friends will stop talking to you
  • they don’t want to be associated with you anymore
  • they’ll make fun of you and won’t take your gender identity seriously
  • they will remain “friends” with you but will start treating you differently
  • you will feel a loss of trust and affection from them
  • they will start holding back from becoming closer to you

Positive Outcomes

  • you won’t feel any reluctance from them
  • they want to know more about your gender identity and will hold your hand throughout your transition
  • they will take your decision seriously and even help you find ways of getting out of the closet
  • you’ll have someone to rant about the beginning stages of transgender dating
  • your friendship with them will be more meaningful
  • they will trust you more and feel more affectionate towards you

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Being out as a transgender individual in a place whereby it could prove fatal or illegal.

After knowing how to come out as trans to the most important aspects of your life, it’s time to figure out if being out in a place whereby the repercussions and negative outcomes can prove deadly or might have you end up behind bars.

Gender dysphoria varies in levels and if you are at the point of your life wherein you feel like you can’t exist living a lie anymore, below are some ways to cope with at the very least, alleviating your gender dysphoria temporarily.

girls shoes
  • give yourself at least an hour to express your gender in private. Dress up when no one is around and just live your truth even for a brief period from time to time
  • dress up as your true gender with friends who are also transgender individuals
  • seek online help from transgender people from another country
  • apply as a refugee to countries that are liberated and be free to be who you want to be

Find Help

If you need help as soon as possible, it’s better to seek help from organizations catered to transgender people. Feel free to contact any of the organizations below.

trans women

Did you learn anything from this Coming out as a Transgender person Successfully guide? Kindly share it on your timeline and to anyone you know who might need LGBT or transgender equality enlightenment.

Posted in Informational
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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