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Transsexual dating and the sexual roles

Maki Gingoyon
This post was last updated on .

Well of course this does not apply to all transsexual women for there are pre-op, post-op, and non-op transsexuals. And I do not wish to offend transsexual women or anybody through my article. This these exist and it is just a mere good to know article specially to men who are interested of dating a transsexual women or already dating.  It is quite awkward and funny to talk about this but admit it, it is interesting and also exciting. I have always been wanting to get more intimate and tackle about sex or making love (as what I prefer to call it) which is one of the most essential part of a relationship, and being sexually compatible is one factor that would help you build a happier relationship. Few online transsexual dating sites include sexual roles as part of your profile information. So what is this sexual role all about? This sexual roles would somehow determined if you are sexually compatible with the transsexual women that you are dating with.  So take a deep breathe and lets dive into these various sexual roles.

Three Sexual roles in transsexuals dating


This role is very common to the gentlemen. Being top means, you are the one who will penetrate your partner. If you choose top as your sexual role that means you are sexually aroused and pleased everytime you penetrate your partner. The penetration that I am talking about is when a male genitalia gets into the anus. This sexual role does not limit only to your male partner for there are transsexuals who are mostly non-op transsexuals prefers to be top but are very rare.


Basically this is the opposite of top. If you are bottom then it is you who will be penetrated or will receive. When you are sexually pleased receiving your partners male genitalia through your anus then that means you are bottom. Regardless of position if you are the one being penetrated by your partner then you are bottom. This sexual role is very common to transsexual women, although there a few men who are sexually aroused and pleased being bottom but they are very few. Having a boyfriend who is bottom is not bad after all as long as you are top. Then that is an example of sexually compatible couple.


This is a combination of being top and bottom. You are versatile when you are sexually please and satisfied whenever you are top or bottom. You are the type of person who is very flexible and wanted to penetrate your partner and being penetrated.

So those are the three sexual roles that usually apply in dating a transsexual. I believe that by understanding  what are these sexual roles all about will make your search even more easier.  Your sexual roles will not be the only reason why you fall for someone of course, But rather one of the few elements to make your relationship satisfying.

Posted in Love and Relationship

About the author

Maki Gingoyon
Mabuhay! I am a Filipino transgender woman who believes that making friends with, or dating and loving a transgender woman should not be ashamed of.

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2 thoughts on “Transsexual dating and the sexual roles

  1. Thank You Maki for a wonderful article. I believe sexuality can evolve, and compatibility in a relationship is essential. I had a TS girlfriend for almost 4 years, and I had been exclusively a top . About 2 years ago, in the middle of some passionate kissing, my lady told me that she wanted to try something new, for both of us. She had fantasised about ‘topping her man’. I was a little scared, but in the heat of passion you want to please you lover and partner above all else. We went to our bedroom, and she penetrated slowly, letting the muscles get accustomed to her size. She made love to me, and I found that it wasnt scary, or painful, or sick. It was a glowing, beautiful feeling of intimacy between woman and her man. I had never felt so warm, and loved. So, I believe it’s important to understand each others sexual roles, and even when they can evolve over time.
    Best wishes Maki, Carl

  2. In my discussions with both my girlfriend (post op) and other trans friends, I feel I must disagree that bottom men are rare — in fact, they seem to be over 50% of men seeking transwomen. I realize that our sample is to small to be scientific, but I’m willing to bet that these numbers hold up if we did an actual survery of transladies.

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