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When To Give Up in Pursuing Someone Online

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

Many things are achieved in life through determination and perseverance. However, when it comes to the talks of romance, one must know when to give up. This is especially true if the odds have not been in your favor for quite a long time.

Patience is a virtue but patiently waiting for something you know will never be yours, is plain idiocy.

Why Do You Like This Person?

There must be a valid reason as to why you’ve been waiting for this person for a very long time. In order for you to justify not giving up, you first must assess why. What is so special about them that you just can’t let go?!

a woman looks in a mirror


If you’ve waited for so long on the basis of looks alone, you don’t have a valid reason. Wasting time just because of aesthetics is a bad investment of efforts and milliseconds. The reason being is because looks change.

What happens when the person you’ve been waiting for gains a wrinkle, pound, scar, and two!? Will you dispose of them and waste more years on another prototype that’s younger and fresher?


Is the person you like rich, successful, or popular? Do you want to ride on their coattails? If so, you must know that they probably have a wide pool of admirers and that you’re waiting for a miracle.

If this person didn’t give you the time of the day right off the bat, they’re not going to give you the time of day now. Moreover, wanting someone like this is a bit more competitive and they usually go for the like-attracts-like type of situation.

Do you have what it takes to be like them and you’re confident that they will reciprocate your feelings someday?


You’re doing it right if you like a person based on their attitude. However, again, not because you have good intentions equates that they must immediately like you. No matter how good of a person you are, you’re not guaranteed by whatever force controls this world an opportunity to shoot Cupid’s arrow.


This is a very good basis for attraction. But you must understand that you can be compatible with many people other than the person you’re eyeing. There must be a reason why you really like them.

For further clarity, it’s time to get to the nitty-gritty.

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Have You Met in Person?

If you’ve only been talking to each other online and haven’t met in person, the waters are still unclear. But if you’ve already met and you’re still waiting for them to commit, it’s time to get more actionable.

a nice couple

First Impression

Some people say first impressions last and it’s very true when it comes to dating. No matter how long you’ve been talking on the internet, meeting in person is still a different story.

Up to this day, are you sure that you’ve given a good lasting impression? If so, why are you still not a couple up to this day? Recall all the moments and check to see if you really did or not.

Contact Frequency After Meeting

What will make this part less of a hassle for you is to assess the frequency of your conversations before and after the meeting. If the other person is more eager to communicate after, they must REALLY like you and you should keep holding on.

However, if they’ve gone cold for WHATEVER REASON, they’re just not that into you. You should move along and call it a bad date.

When To Stop

There are many reasons why online daters still communicate without commitment. Many of these have to do with:

  • financial support
  • ulterior motives
  • unshakeable a-hole patterns
  • stringing along
  • or turning people into backup systems
a woman making a stop with her hand

They Keep Insisting in No Labels

People like this are either already in a relationship, are keeping you on a bench for future consumption, or are simply a-holes. If they like to do the nasty with you and flirt with you at all times but you’ve been doing this ping-pong for more than 6 months, they’re probably just playing with you.

They Say They Like You But They Are NOT READY

In some cases, this must be true. Most especially if the person comes from a very conservative culture. However, are you willing to really wait until they’re ready? Isn’t it insulting that you’ve found each other on a dating site whereby people signing up are supposedly looking for a relationship?


If you’ve been waiting for more than three months for even a hint of them, wanting you back, it’s TOO LONG. Most especially in a case wherein the two of you are in constant communication with flirtation. But since in 2021, we’re all dating online, extend this deadline to 6 months.

6 months is enough time for people who are dating online to figure out if they indeed want to pursue each other. Anything longer than just leads to wishful thinking.

They’re Stringing You Along

If they’ve been breaking their promises for a year, they’re just playing with you. If the person is truly into you, they will not have a problem wearing labels. This person is avoiding labels so when the time comes that you catch them fooling around, they will be accountable for the guilt.

What this means is that they’re really not into you but just want you on the sidelines should they be desperate enough to give you the time of day. Don’t fall for a person like this. The easiest way to avoid them is by having enough self-worth.

Widen Your Net

Why would you waste your time on someone who doesn’t see your value? Don’t subject yourself to cruelty when My Transgender Date is filled with people who are truly looking for love.

Added to that, it’s the first dating website created to connect decent trans women to decent men. You’ll surely find a lot of gems. What are you waiting for? Sign-up today and see what love has in store for you!

Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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