In a pandemic life where hope is fleeting, status and money are irrelevant, and gold doesn’t have value, love is what holds the most power. With love comes inspiration and drive.
Today, to add fuel to your fire, we’ve decided to share with you the beautiful love story of Geah and Claus. Two souls from faraway lands who have found each other in My Transgender Date. Together, inseparable, and striving to survive amidst COVID-19.
1. How did the two of you discover My Transgender Date?
Geah: In my case, it was a recommendation from a transgirl friend. It was in 2017 when I realized that I like to try dating westerners. But I was still open to any possibilities that may come. And at that time, I was in a 3 year LDR with a Pakistani guy… that somehow seemed to go nowhere. So I thought to myself it was about time to give it a try.
Claus: I was searching for a serious dating site and found from a blog that My Transgender Date was in the Top 10 Transwomen Dating websites that were highly recommended.
2. How long have you been together? As partners and as Husband and Wife.
According to Geah,
“We have been together for almost 4 years now and 1 month as a married couple. So I’m living my best life with my husband. However, we have so much catching up to do to compensate for the time of being away from each other. We have loads of hugs and kisses every morning and they continue after he arrives from work.”
3. What was your impression of the website when you first used it?
Geah: I felt so amazed because I got a welcoming message from the owner of the website (Cyril Mazur), which included a warning to be careful of Tranny Chasers. The website itself is very convenient when it comes to tabs and icons, it gives so many options for what you like to see, which is not limited to who viewed me—that was my favorite addition.
It is a clean and decent website because it does not allow nudity and explicit photos. So I got to see very good and nice profile of men there.
Claus: Serious and sober—I also like that nude pictures are not allowed because I was looking for friends and hoped that the friendship could lead into a relationship.
Actually, I was a little surprised how many women were there. Also, I followed the online training for men who want to date transwomen, not that I learned much new, I had already read and watched videos about what to say and specially not to say to transgender people.
4. Who sent a message first? How did you get connected?
Geah: After I created my profile and uploaded what I thought were my best photos, I then started browsing through profiles of men that were active. It was me who sent the first message after I read through his profile (which caught my attention even though he only had one photo).
It was his description that made me write to him. In fact, I can still recall what I wrote to him and it goes along the lines of “Guess you’d talk to me if I’m tall and 30 plus”. After that, more good conversations followed.
Claus: I answered her question and first message and that I would, of course, talk to her. I am not discriminating against anyone. I had a peek at her profile, and she was very pretty, but also very young, compared to me.
What really caught my attention was Geah’s profile text and her first message to me. Those made me feel that she had actually read my profile, and had reflected over it. I’m sorry to say that many just write “Hi!” or “Hello!”, and to be honest it’s not a good way to start a conversation.
5. What was your first impression of him?
Geah: He was so nice, friendly, and a trans-oriented man. Every message from him got me so excited to read and to reply.
6. What made Claus stand out among the other male members of My Transgender Date?
He was the nicest guy that I talked to. Some men I was talking to had short answers and not so good to talk to, and some talked too much that I couldn´t relate and see myself in it, to the point where I felt sleepy of how lengthy the messages were.
In contrast to him, every conversation we had, gave so many wonderful feelings. I can truly feel the connection each time we communicate. He’s very intellectual and respectful. In fact, he’s very careful of addressing me with the right term and any topic or questions he asked about me.
7. Please tell us what you did after discovering that you have a connection with him. Did you guys delete your accounts? Did you continue chatting on the site?
We kept our accounts active for quite a while even if we already transferred to GMAIL for a better way of communicating. But it was more on to focus on messaging with each other. And at that time, we didn’t know that we have the option to put our account on pause so even if our accounts were active, we were no longer on there until we felt comfortable with each other after exchanging long chains of emails on Gmail.
It took 3 months until we decided to transfer to Skype to see if Claus is the same guy and if I would feel the same when talking live through a video call. We were so focused on each other to the point where we forgot our log-in credentials. After a year, as we went back to retrieve our accounts, we decided to put it on pause up to this point. Right now, we are talking about deleting our accounts there.
8. How did he go about asking you to be his girlfriend? Did he fly to the Philippines first or did you guys start with an Online Relationship?
Geah: It was so soft of me to give in, to be honest. It was me who initiated the relationship topic and said “ I think I´m falling for you” which was in our 3 months of friendship and exchanging emails. Gladly, he felt the same. He even told me that he was afraid to ask me for it might scare me away and might risk the friendship.
Meeting in the Philippines was not an option at that time because I was an OFW (overseas Filipino worker) and just recently arrived in Japan. I was studying the language and working as a caregiver. So the friendship and long-distance relationship started there and it went on for a year and some months before we met in person.
He even offered me to take a vacation to the Philippines. However, my employer couldn’t allow me to take a vacation for I just started my job and he also couldn’t afford to visit me in Japan if weekends are the only times I could offer him.
9. How long did it take for you to meet him? Can you tell us more about your story?
Geah: It took us 1 year and 8 months before meeting in person. It was when I decided to resign from my job as a caregiver in an elderly facility in Japan. It was an unfortunate experience—I had with my employer and homesickness combined.
Claus felt sorry for me and agreed about my decision to go back to my home country, and that he can finally meet me as well for the first time. After careful thought and planning, I arrived in the Philippines 3 days before his arrival from Denmark to visit me and my family.
Between 1 year and 8 months of being in a relationship and haven’t been meeting in person, it was truly a struggle. Skype and Gmail were our best mediums to connect. The hardest parts were the times when I needed a real hug, kiss, and warm touch when I was down… which the media can’t compensate for. But we were positive and looking forward to bridging the distance between us. I also felt how he really wanted to meet me and be with me.
Claus: I can add—that I’m not much for traveling. Meeting her was actually my first time traveling alone, and I even missed in-between flights and ended up being on my way for 30 hours. But I was so sure that Geah was the right woman for me, that I actually didn’t mind. I know that everyone says that you can never be sure before having spending time together, but I was.
10. What was your first impression of him and his of you?
Geah: My first impression of meeting him at Mactan Cebu International Airport was WOW, he’s so tall! I felt intimidated even though I was in my 5-inch heel boots and winter jacket in the warm weather of Cebu.
I was so shy so no kiss, only hugs for it was my first time meeting someone I talked to for the longest time online. I thought it would have been the same as what I usually saw in movies but it was not. He was shy as I was. The icebreaker was when we kissed in the car going to the apartment we rented.
Claus: Well my first thought was actually, how much I needed a bath, Haha! But holding her in my arms for the first time—was thinking how nice and soft she felt, and of course, she was pretty. But I already knew that, so no surprise there.
11. How long have you been in an LDR before finally settling down? What are the challenges and if you’re comfortable with disclosing some problems, please feel free to do so.
Geah: 1 year and 8 months before the first meeting in the Philippines, and another year and 10 months after his first visit. So that’s a total of 3 years and 6 months of long-distance before deciding to settle down here in Denmark.
The second plan of meeting up would have been sooner if the Pandemic didn’t happen, and the addition of him losing his father. After he visited me in February 2019, he would have liked me to visit him and celebrate my birthday in Denmark but because of his dad’s passing, we decided to meet in May 2020 in the Philippines and would have had summer vacation with my family for a week and would take me with him as he would go back home to Denmark.
So I was able to process my VISA but when the end week of March came, our government declared a lockdown due to COVID-19. We had to postpone the 2nd meeting. And because of the strict health protocols and standards implemented by the government, all tourists, specifically foreigners, couldn’t enter the country.
The only way was for me to go to him. So when they lifted the travel ban in October 2020, we then started to reapply for a tourist VISA in Denmark.
It was never easy to be in that long-distance relationship—for a very long period and meeting only once. In fact, there were some circumstances and challenges we did go through but none of them involved a third party for Claus is a one-woman man kind of guy. I am confident about him for he deosn’t have any social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat—only Skype. He didn’t even have a smartphone that time, only a laptop and a Nokia 3610 for 15 years—until I was able to convince him to get a smartphone (but still was a challenge to use for him).
The only problems were all about my mood swings, overthinking and being too sensitive. Especially when he raised his voice at me, that was the time I didn’t like talking to him for a day yet it felt wrong. I just think we’re perfect when we’re together.
Claus: My first experience with a dating site and my first long-distance relationship, I can say that it wasn’t always easy, but somehow it worked well for me—getting to know Geah very well before the meeting.
I would have liked things to happen sooner, but we made it work with daily video calls. Looking back, I think those efforts made our relationship and love grow stronger.
12. What did you guys do to maintain a strong bond amidst the distance? Please tell us more about the schedule of communication and more.
Geah: When I was in Japan and he was in Denmark, we had a 7-hour difference. We did video calls for one hour when it was the morning of my time before going to work. My 6:00 AM was his 11:00 PM. So when I need to leave the house at 7, he would then sleep at his midnight.
When he wakes up at 7:00 AM, Denmark time, he would always leave an email to my Gmail address and I always read it at around 2:00 PM in my workplace. Those emails were all about his great feelings and admiration for me. And on weekends, our conversations took almost the whole day. Even in my sleep and his sleep, we were still in a video call. It was the only time in a week that Gmail was in rest days.
In the Philippines, there is a 6-hour difference with Denmark. I was working in a call center so we did video calls during my break time and after shift. We slept together since it was the time we somehow synced. On weekends, we did video calls almost every time. I can tell that we were inseparable. We wouldn’t last a day without video calling or not talking. It would make us feel crazy and extremely sad.
13. Please tell us about the Courtship, Proposal, and Wedding.
Geah: Wedding Proposal Happened Twice here’s why:
During his first visit when he proposed to me, in fact it wouldn’t have been a proposal day for he told me we needed to buy promise rings. So we looked for rings in jewelry shops and since he finds them so expensive just for promise rings, I took him to Unisilver (a silver jewelry store in the Philippines).
There, we chose our favorite ring and as we went home, I was so surprised he knelt to the ground and asked me if I would marry him… and I was like woah! “Yes, I do”.
So the promise ring became the engagement ring. Had I known it would have been the engagement I would’ve insisted on the expensive ring. Haha!
So when he went back to Denmark, we then started talking about our 2nd meeting in May 2020—and would have liked the wedding day on his birthday in June, but because of the pandemic, we needed to postpone it.
As the travel ban lifted for outbound travelers, it was the time when I was able to process my VISA and get to Denmark.
The 2nd unexpected and formal proposal happened when I first met Claus’ sister. She brought me a very beautiful pink bouquet. I thought it was a simple meet-and-greet lunch with his sister but I was so surprised! After a good conversation and sumptuous meal, Claus stood up and asked me to remain seated as he took something at the corner… then came back to me and knelt.
I was shocked and as I looked to his sister (who started to cry) and then asked about his gesture, Claus said,
“I would have done this in front of your family on my second visit to the Philippines and asked your mom’s permission to take you with me, but because of the pandemic I have saved this ring, Geah will you marry me?”
I became so emotional as well as Claus’ sister who was so supportive of us.
Claus: Ha! I have managed to surprise Geah twice, the first time on her 30th birthday, when she received flowers and cake from me, with the help of her brother—and second, when I made a decent proposal to her.
Our wedding was actually very plain, going to the city hall. But it had to do for now, since marriage is a condition for her to stay here in Denmark.
14. Do you have any message for trans women and trans-oriented men who are feeling hopeless and wanting to give up on finding love?
Geah: My message to the ladies and gentlemen out there is to be YOURSELF. There is someone for you that would appreciate your uniqueness. If you want to stand out, be creative about your profile with full honesty—and don’t be clichéd.
Be BOLD in taking the first step. Give it a shot; when someone catches your interests and you would like to get to know them, don’t just say Hi or Hello. Drop them a message based on what you have read on their profile. They would appreciate that.
And when you find the one, be consistent, keep the love burning by constant communication despite the distance.
Claus: A bit of the same, be honest and sincere. Treat her like the woman she is. Always remember that you’re with a woman who is potentially very vulnerable, I’m not saying that all transwomen are, but just that they can be.
Last, give her all the love you have, but that is the truth in every relationship, there is enough hate out in the world, and that goes for LGBT people in particular.