Improving Conversations With Your Partner
Are you in a relationship, whether a long-distance, online, or offline one? Do you often find yourself arguing with your significant other? If so, it only means that both of you are not communicating well.
Yes, constant arguments without anyone dropping the other proves that the two of you like each other. But that’s not an excuse to settle for a chaotic relationship. Eventually, if this type of setup continues, you’re bound to break up. If you want to salvage the love you have, keep reading.
Changing Your Tone
Do you often get remarks about the way you speak? It may be the volume, tension, or overall power of how you get the words out. However, regardless of the specificity, if people make comments about you, sounding mad or pressed, it means that you have to tweak the tone of your voice.
Don’t think of this as being suppressed. Little changes like these are what will make you a better communicator. Don’t worry about losing your individuality. You will still be yourself, but with better communication skills.
They say that practice makes perfect and you should work on this every day. Try speaking with people on the phone and apply everything that you’ve learned or about to learn.
Added to that, be wary of your emotions when you speak. Many people who get too excited, shocked, etc., get so loud. While these are okay, some of these emotions are negative and will further amplify your need to get back to the “angry” tone.
Let The Past Stay In The Past
Many people like bringing up the past in arguments. While this is good in the court of law, your relationship should avoid this type of method. Bringing up the past all the time will result in a never-ending loop of chaos. If you’ve already forgiven something that your partner has done in the past, let it stay that way.
There’s a reason why the saying “forgive and forget” is very popular. If you keep doing this, maybe you haven’t truly forgiven your partner and it’s time to close this chapter once and for all. If that’s not the case and you’ve truly forgiven them, you have to work harder in avoiding revisiting the past.
Adjust the Intervals of Your Reminders
If you often remind your partner about their health, career, etc., this just means that you deeply care about them. However, you must know that reminders can turn into a degree that enters the borders of nagging. Being caring is not bad but you’re not in this relationship to baby the other person.
Yes, they may miss some stuff here and there, but don’t hold yourself accountable if they do. This is part of their growing up process. It is not your job to run their lives. Unless it enters the territories of life and death situation, that’s when you have the license to keep reminding.
Stop Mentioning Topics That Offend Your Partner
They say that the best conversations are the ones that are 100% open. However, if there’s a topic that your partner isn’t fond of talking about, don’t push it. Sometimes, people are traumatized by some things. Not to say that this is the main reason why they don’t want to speak about a specific topic, but it’s best to leave it at that.
If they’ve been vocal in rejecting a topic, it’s your cue to stop. Also, don’t force them to talk about why they don’t want to have a certain topic to be discussed. This route often cascades, which pushes you back to step one.
Listening More
Now, if you really want to know the fool-proof mark of someone who’s good at conversations, it’s someone who KNOWS HOW TO LISTEN. Not just when to listen but you must be really into what your partner’s talking about. Doing so will increase your sympathy for what they’re saying and will give you a more educated opinion once you open your mouth.
Many people love talking about themselves to the point that they couldn’t care less about what their partner’s feeling anymore. Don’t be like this. The relationship does not revolve around you.
Stop Pointing Out Mistakes
Your conversations will go nowhere if you keep on pointing out someone’s mistakes. This also goes the same way for your partner. This does not only become annoying, it can also hurt and affect someone’s confidence badly.
Instead of pointing out the mistakes of your partner, tell them how they can improve. Make every conversation meaningful by ensuring that you’re both stepping towards a destination of improvement.
If you’re just discouraging them and you’re not actually being part of the solution, you probably need to point out yours first. This is often done by people who feel like a failure and like to project their mistakes onto someone else.
Be Goal-Oriented
Sweet nothings are amazing but you shouldn’t be stuck there. Always find ways on how the two of you can improve your lives in different aspects of life. Help each other and have a common goal. Don’t rest on your laurels and be the power couple that you’re destined to become.
If your partner’s often complaining about their work, it may be a sign that they need your help. If you know that they know that you can’t, it may also be a sign of them, just wanting to rant to you.
Should they talk about the future and mention something about saving for it, they may want to start planning with you and the two of you can make budget cuts here and there. Many conversations may lead to achieving different goals so don’t shy away from these types of discussions.
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Good luck!
