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How a trans woman can keep a man

Attracting a man is easy, but keeping a man isn’t. Most especially when men will only be kept if they want to be. However, there’s no harm in trying to make the most out of the connection so that even if the relationship doesn’t prosper or last for a lifetime, you can look back and say you have no regrets and you’ve given your all.

Today, we will give you some tips on how to keep a man on his toes even after you’ve been with him for quite a while. Please know that nothing in this guide is foolproof. Take everything with a grain of salt.

1. Keeping your individuality

Before you think of ways to keep a man, you have to keep yourself first. What this means is to never let go of your individuality. If you always pander to him and only do things because you want to appease him while you’re neglecting your sense of self, he will find you boring.

woman with a laptop

Nobody falls in love with someone robotic. Sure, being a Stepford Wife can be appealing to some men, but there will come a time when he’ll realize that there’s nothing more to see and he’ll start succumbing to his wandering eyes.

2. Have goals

Most trans women, or women in general, fall for men who are laser-focused on their goals. The reason being is this type of quality is a foreshadowing of how responsible a person is. If you are the same, what makes you think that he doesn’t want a responsible woman as well?

Added to that, having goals, whether it be domesticated or career-oriented, keeps one’s life fueled and inspired. Don’t just exist, live your life and make everything you want to happen!

3. Maintain knowing your worth

If you give up the chase and you do absolutely everything for a man, he will grow tired of you. Yes, it’s wrong, but it’s the reality. Most men are natural hunters, they prefer being on the chasing end.

woman is writing

Don’t give 100% of your body, mind, and soul. Make him work for the percentages so that when he gets what he wants, he will feel like he deserves it. You see, there’s a difference between two men who prepared bear meat on a dinner table, the one who bought his in the grocery store, and the one who fought the bear to get his.

The latter will have more stories to tell and will be more proud of his achievement. This to him is a lasting memory. You’d always want to ensure that whenever he’s doing something for you, he will always feel like he’s on an enjoyable journey to make his queen happy.

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4. Surprises

But of course, men are not robots either. They shouldn’t do all the work in the relationship. You see, men, most especially the ones who are the breadwinners, won’t have much time to plan events or trips on certain occasions anymore. It’s your duty to do these things especially if you’re not working or if you don’t work as hard as he does.

Keep a calendar and mark all of the special dates like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Let him know that you value him as much as he values you. You don’t need to make grand gestures, we’re not trying to turn you into Bob the Builder here. A simple home-cooked dinner or buying tickets and planning trips online can do the trick.

Added to that, also give him presents. Something that he likes or has mentioned before. It’s important to pay attention to these little details because they can make a big impact on your relationship.

5. Amping up the Romance

Now, apart from the surprises, you must always keep things spicy. There’s nothing like a new pair of lingerie that can do the trick more. Discovering other avenues when it comes to intimacy is a welcome addition as well.

nice couple

When you do the same thing over and over again, it can get habitual. He will feel like it’s a mundane chore or an obligation. But if you can turn the heat up and keep him on his toes by creating different scenarios when it comes to making love, he will come back for more.

Try role-playing, or maybe doing it in another place. You may also explore if either of the two of you is into submission or domination. The body was created to be explored.

6. The chase never stops

In connection with maintaining your worth, this is more specific. How you can channel this is by not saying yes immediately to all of his requests. Not that you’re being a diva or being difficult. Sometimes, he has to hear the word “no” so that he stays grounded.

No, don’t think that you’re being Machiavellian in nature. You’re being smart, drawing boundaries, and establishing your worth. Added to that, if you don’t really want to do certain requests, learn how to express a HARD NO.

7. Thick and thin

Now, off to something deeper and what truly keeps a man and makes a relationship last a lifetime, staying together through thick and thin. You shouldn’t just give up in a relationship whenever the two of you have misunderstandings or miscommunications.

sweet couple

Added to that, when a situation arises wherein you’ve been hurt, assess if that kind of pain warrants the ending of a relationship. You have to acknowledge that as human beings, we are all prone to errors. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should be an enabler. Set boundaries, barometers, and limits.

8. Sweet nothings before sleeping

Both of you should not be going to sleep mad at each other. It’s very important to end the day with assurance and one of the many ways this can be done is whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Don’t let petty arguments carry on for days. Doing so will spark unnecessary drama. This world needs positive energy and you don’t want to curtail your happiness and future just because he forgot to put his socks in the clothes bin or he was late to an event because you took an hour looking for the other pair of your earrings.

9. Meaningful conversations

Of course, it’s not only the buttery, velvety, and sugary lines that help keep a man with you. He wants to know your innermost thoughts, desires, and emotions. Have meaningful conversations about life with him.

couple drinking wine

Talk about charity, relationships, humankind, the supernatural, etc. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let him know what’s on your mind. Trust and believe that he has a lot of things to say as well and you’re the one that he counts on to listen.

10.   Self-love

Lastly, for him to keep loving you, you shouldn’t stop loving yourself. Don’t neglect your self-care and wellness all because you’re laser-focused on making him smile all the time.

If he witnesses that you have unconditional love for yourself, he’s going to be compelled to love you as much, or more than the love you’re providing yourself.

Did you learn anything from this guide? If so, please feel free to share it on your timeline.

Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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