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Stop Mentioning These Stereotypes to Trans Woman

Are you new to the world of trans dating and you’re into trans women? Before entering this world, you must know what and what you must avoid doing should you meet the girl of your dreams and end up repelling her because you don’t know the basics.

Today, you’re going to learn about what you should NOT mention to transgender women. Please know that this was not created to take away your freedom of speech. This is a guide for you to be equipped with the most basic information that most decent trans women expect from men.

Poor You, Woe is You

Transgender women need empathy, NOT PITY. They’re the last ones that you should feel sorry for because they’re brave enough to live their truth amidst the backlash. They’re not weak, but they’re not animated objects either. What this means is that if you are aware of their hardships or they share a sad story with you, don’t rub it in.

Poor You, Woe is You

Offer your ears and shoulders but don’t make her feel like she’s pathetic. To be more precise, avoid saying:

  • Poor you
  • Your life’s so sad
  • I can’t imagine being in your shoes

You’re Special

Most transgender women are fighting for inclusivity. They’re often misunderstood by bigots who think that they just want to take advantage of their gender identity. By saying that she’s a “special woman”, you’re going to make her feel like you’re putting her in a box where she doesn’t want to be.

There’s no need to say she’s special just to make her special. You may become misconstrued. If you want to let her know that you think she’s special, make her FEEL special instead. At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words.

Heart Of A Man

What’s worse than calling her special is giving her a compliment along the lines of she still has the heart of a man. Even if you think you’re saying nice things by admiring her “more logical” (misogyny, you’ll be hitting two birds with one stone) outlook in life, don’t do it.

Heart Of A Man

Besides, it’s not only men who can have a “heart of a man”. This is the most common sexist notion that’s prevalent in society. Men, women, or whoever, can be overly emotional, logical, physical, etc.

Strength Of A Man

Many ignorant people who don’t have any idea on how hormone replacement therapy works think that transgender women are still men, with the strength of men, who just happen to look like women.

Yep, don’t be one of them. There’s nothing wrong with being strong and athletic. One should own these qualities and be proud of them. Instead of saying that she has the strength of a man, just say she’s strong, PERIOD.

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Best Of Both Worlds (Pros and Cons)

Many transgender women have heard this numerous times already. Although it’s not as offensive as the others, this statement is like hiding fetishism under a veil. Added to that, transgender women who have intense gender dysphoria will be very offended by this.

Best Of Both Worlds

You have no idea of how mentally crippling it is when you have something you resent between your legs. Something people may think can be trivial but to many transgender women, have stolen their dignity, rights, and peace.

You’re Not Like Any Other Girl

Saying this to cisgender women may be harmless, but to trans women, this could have a different meaning. This shares the same impact with the “You’re Special” phrase. If she’s not like any other girl, what is she then?

She might start pondering what you mean and sometimes, not in a good manner. This will make her feel like you’re putting her in the trans box again when what she really wants is to just be like any other girl, period.

I “Support” Trans Women

You probably have a noble cause and genuine intentions but this line has been used far too many times by tranny chasers. And if you really do, you don’t have to say it out loud unless you’re marching in Pride events. This will make you seem ridiculous and just on the lookout to have a heroic badge and be praised.

“Support” Trans Women

If you want to impress her, let your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t treat her like she doesn’t deserve the same respect and dignity that any human being deserves. Love her unconditionally and understand where she’s coming from. That’s when she’ll know that you don’t only support trans women, but you’re also an overall rare human being.

You’re A Human Being Just Like Me

In connection with the human being statement, just like with your support, you don’t have to say this one out loud. Saying this will make her think that you have the notion that she’s a second-class citizen or that your caste is higher than hers. Obviously, we’re all equal.

Nothing can get more annoying than receiving compliments and empathy in the form of “Even if you’re transgender, you’re a human too just like me.” When it comes to dating trans women, the key is less is more.

You Remind Me Of (Another Transgender Woman)

Now that you know the stereotypes that you should avoid, it’s time to get to know what really ticks trans women off. Yep, if there’s something that’s more annoying to trans women, it is not only being put outside of the woman’s box but it’s being put outside the woman’s box AND be compared to another transgender woman that’s not in a woman box.

Remind Me Of

In general, no matter what gender you have, nothing’s fun about being compared to another person. Even if you think that you’re doing it as a compliment, when it comes to trans women, what this translates to is that you just see her as a woman of trans experience and that she’s not a woman in general.

You may think that this guide was created to be too politically correct, but when it comes to dating, you always must have a strategy. A lack of it will keep you from who you really want to end up with.

Good luck!

Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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