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How to deal with First-timers in Transgender Dating Sites

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

We’ve all been novices in the world of dating. Some have experienced great love, great heartbreaks, and have met their soulmates. Without making the first step towards something that’s seemingly just a dream, we will never get to where we want to be.

The same applies to men who are first-timers in trans dating sites. Now, if you’re a trans woman and you’re tired of dealing with them, that’s understandable. Some may treat you like a Google search while others, make you feel like sticking your pins out and creating a voodoo doll.

If you’ve finally had it with first-timers, you may be dealing with them incorrectly. Most of them have good intentions, don’t count them out just yet.

1. Assess if they’re being genuine or not

Let’s start with one of your weaknesses, judging a person. You see, if you’re good at this, you will not make a conclusion that all first-timers are jackasses. So working on this talent will benefit you a lot.

a black guy with a dog

How do you really get to know if a guy in My Transgender Date is looking for love? Well, there are signs, and below are the most telling:

  • He communicates with respect and he doesn’t try to divert his questions into another topic.
  • He listens, learns, and adapts.
  • Most of his questions are not about your trans-ness and your bed role. Instead, he’s getting to know your character.
  • He’s consistent with how he communicates with you. If his conversations with you don’t have incorrect overtones unless you’ve explicitly made him know that you’re comfortable with such topics, he’s not a random wanker.
  • Transparency will occur. He will tell you who he is and will not hide behind a pseudonym and more.

2. Entertain their questions

Now that you have an idea of who to entertain, it’s time to know what to do. Don’t be a snob and don’t create a marble barrier between him and you. Entertain him and be polite without, of course, compromising your boundaries.

Yes, it’s not your job to be his Wikipedia if the questions are harmless and inoffensive, respond accordingly.

3. Stop when they’re leading the conversation incorrectly

Many wankers online love to fatten their prey before eating them. So if you’re being bombed with compliments, know what’s about to come next. Yes, they will probably start with statements such as:

  • I love your eyes.
  • Your smile is so beautiful.
  • You’re gorgeous! I’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you.

Then expect those to turn into compliments about your breasts, ass, and feet (yep, they exist!).

4. Answer what you can, refer to what you can’t

Many first-timers love being nosy. While that’s not a bad thing, it can get overwhelming.

a transgender woman typing on her smartphone

Some will even ask you about the effects of hormone replacement therapy and its impacts on trans women. Others will also ask you about surgeries that you may or may have not undergone yet. To further expound on this, refer to the next section.

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5. It is not your job to educate them in all aspects

You see, a lot of first-timers have a basket of questions and some of them will be coming from sapiosexual trans-oriented men.

The majority of trans women have no idea of the science behind transgenderism or the effect of sociopolitical changes on transgender people. If they have a question that you have the answer for, respond politely. Now, if they ask you something that you have zero idea of, tell them that you don’t know and that they should try searching on the internet.

6. Don’t feel offended if they mentioned something incorrectly

This mostly happens when men use incorrect adjectives or semantics. For instance, the ladyboy word if you’re Asian or the shemale term if you’re from the west.

Unfortunately, a lot of men find out about trans women through adult entertainment. But that doesn’t mean that they’re bad people. Those words are heavily used in the adult industry so when you encounter them, tell the guy politely that you dislike those words and those do not pertain to you.

7. Answer their questions, don’t try to change their opinions

If a guy asks you a question and they’ve made an opposing statement based on your answer, let them. Politely explain your side as to why you feel that he is incorrect or looking at it in the wrong way but don’t beg him to change his mind.

a trans woman typing on her smartphone

For example, some first-timers won’t refer to you as 100% Woman because they have reservations and science has explained time and time again that gender and sex aren’t the same thing, but they’re insisting on something else.

Educate them and tell them that you are only comfortable in entertaining GENTLEMEN who view you as a woman. This will embarrass them and you’ve made a very clear point that there’s no messing around with you.

8. Set boundaries with the type of questions

Questions are fine but anything too explicit, morbid, personal, etc., is not okay right off the bat. But what you shouldn’t do is block them immediately because you don’t want to eliminate any potential partner.

As a single trans woman, boundaries are very important. So instead of pushing them away, clarify what you don’t want. If they keep crossing it, that’s when you hit the block button.

9. If you’re into them and they feel you, let it flow

Remember, knowledge is important but it can never trample connection. If the two of you really get along well and you get to know more about each other, anything from the get-go will be forgotten because compromise will occur for the both of you to be happy.

Don’t force anything and don’t let him force you as well. When love is present, you will experience a smooth-sailing ride. Just let it flow!

10. We’ve all been novices

Lastly, you were a beginner too. You weren’t born into this world carrying all the knowledge that you have now. A little sympathy will get you a long way when it comes to the world of Transgender Dating.

Haven’t created a My Transgender Date account yet? It’s the first decent dating website made for trans women and the men who love them. Login today and witness a major change in your romantic life.

Good luck!

Posted in Love and Relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine is a transgender woman who has written about trans topics for over 10 years for My Transgender Date. She is an author who made it on Amazon’s best-seller list by writing 5 books on trans women’s relationships. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” peaked at #3 in the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. She started writing at the age of 10 and won a poetry contest in 4th grade which convinced her to pursue a career in literature. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman give her a unique perspective on trans topics.

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